Liam McCormack

On the 8th July 2009 our lives changed forever. Stephen, I and our two daughters went for my routine
34 week appointment at our hospital. I was the first patient in so I was the first called. My doctor
asked me how I was, and mentioned that I had an appointment with the anaesthetist on the 21st July
(I was supposed to have a c-section because the Liam was breech). The doctor asked how my kicks
were, (as I had been in the week previous with low foetal movement), so I mentioned that I had
hardly any kicks the day before but that I had two while waiting to go into him. Dr.Malik then took
me through to do a scan, so I ushered Stephen & the girls into the corner where they could see. I
lay on the bed but as soon as he started the scan I could tell something was wrong, my husband’s
face and the doctors face said it all. Dr.Malik asked for the head consultant Dr.Syed to be paged,
so I just asked him if something was wrong, he looked at me glumly and nodded, I asked if my baby
was dead and he nodded and said yes. There was no heartbeat, I couldn’t believe it and started
crying, but I had to pull myself together as my youngest daughter (3 years old) started crying from
fright. As we waited for the head consultant to come we were moved to another room, Stephen & I
explained to Scarlett (4 years old) & Grace that their baby brother had died. We then called both
our parents to tell them, although my poor husband’s heart was broken and he couldn’t talk. The
doctor’s then came in to say sorry and to tell me my options, they were very nice but they had the
hard task of telling me that I had to wait until the following Tuesday (6 days later) before they
would induce me, to give us time to let it sink in. So we were sent home, and we really didn’t
know what to do. We asked my mother to look after the girls as we were both in total shock. Over the
next few days we contacted the priest, bought our burial plot, put away some of his clothes (the
ones from my hospital bag), all very hard to do but we had to try and carry on as normal for our
girls so we sent them to their play group, and tried to be cheerful but it was so hard to do.
Tuesday arrived but they had reconsidered their course of action, because of a previous section they
had decided it was too dangerous (my womb & uterus could rupture) to do an induction, so they did a
sweep and sent me home with instructions to come back the next Monday. That week Stephen & I did the
best that we could do, we packed all the baby’s clothes away, and tried to look after the girls as
best we could. The next Monday (20th July) they did another sweep and sent me home, but this one was
much more successful and by the next day (21st July) I was in labour. By 3pm that afternoon I was
having full & regular contractions, I held on for as long as I could but then a friend advised
Stephen to bring me into the hospital as my contractions were only 3 mins apart. When we got to the
hospital (4.50) they were 2 mins apart and I was 5cm dilated. I was so thrilled to have got this far
by myself as my first two labours had lasted 30 hours for the 1st and 12 hours plus an emergency
section for the 2nd. I had an epidural at 6.10pm and after a 4 hour labour my beautiful baby boy
Liam was born, he weighed 6lbs 1oz & and measured 43cms long. He looked just like his sisters, the
same nose and lips. He also had a great colour considering he had died two weeks before. He had big
hands and small feet, but he was just so perfect. We couldn’t understand how he could just have
died. Our hearts were broken, he was the little boy we had planned & prayed for, his daddy’s pride
and joy. We spent two lovely nights with him in the hospital, where the staff was unbelievably kind
and helpful. We only got to hold him in the delivery suit as he was so delicate; he was dead two
weeks at this stage. However we did spend two nights with him in the hospital in our own private
room, these two nights were precious and very peaceful. My doctor was very kind as were the nurses.
On Thursday 23rd July 2009 the nurse placed Liam in his coffin and put the jewellery I gave them on
him (a gold crucifix & a baby bangle). We placed pictures of his sisters and of us in with him. The
teddy that he had with him from the minute he was born was put in (we bought two, one for Liam and
one for ourselves which we sleep with every night), along with two sets of Rosary beads. One set
belonged to Stephens Aunt who had passed away in May and another belonged to my niece, these were
her First Holy Communion set. We were released and brought Liam home and placed his open coffin into
his cot and played his projector to him. As he was so delicate we hadn’t been able to lift him
after we left the delivery room so we had to leave him in his crib in the hospital and his coffin
while at home. That evening we had a mass at home with only close family and we buried him in what
will now be our final resting place. Putting his lid on his coffin for the last time was awful I
just kept kissing him goodbye but unable to do it, but finally we had to do it. Liam would have been
due on the 16th August, and was already very much part of our family. We miss him so, so much my
heart keeps breaking and our girls keep wondering why their brother died. But we will never know his
as his post-mortem results showed it was an unexplained death. All I know is that our precious
little boy was taken, and even though we have had our lives ripped apart we are not angry or bitter,
and we are not blaming anyone. Everyone keeps asking are we not angry about this, but as there is
no-one to blame what is the point of being angry, we are just very, very sad. Sadness and loneliness
are hard enough to deal with, without killing yourself over blame and anger. I know my son was
created, died and was born through love and we will never forget him, ever. He was the love of my
life, and although I know I am lucky to have two wonderful girls (and they really are fantastic), I
will always miss my little boy.

Liam, Mummy, Daddy, Scarlett and Grace love you always and forever, we cannot wait until the day we
see you again, but until then we will look after each other. Love you eternally Mummy & Daddy
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